Dear Carnation (An excerpt from upcoming book, traded.)

Carnation and I at the United Pentecostal Church Youth Camp, 1980-something in Arizona.

Dearest Carnation, 

            If there were a picture in the dictionary for the word friend, yours would be there. We have known each other since Mr. Campbell’s class in the 4^th grade. To be honest, I do not even remember the first time that we met. It seems like you have just always been there---always been there for me to lean on when I needed it. Even to this day.

            Do you remember all of those times we walked to school together? And when your family let me live with you for a while; your mom and dad let me share a room with you? You were old lace and I was soccer balls, but we managed to blend it and have fun. I can still remember coming to your home in the morning and sitting with your family for breakfast every morning; your mother's gravy is still the best. Your parents were so caring to adopt me in as one of their own. I knew that no matter what my issue was, I could go to them and have someone to hold me up when I needed it. 

           You were the first one to show me a path to God. Taking me to church with you literally changed my life. Not only did I have your family, but then I had the church family too. Do you remember going to church camp? Man those were great times!

            Growing up with you and your family is a huge and most enjoyable part of my childhood memories. Playing with your little sister and helping her back bends in the front yard, to your brother scaring the crap out of me at the window when he popped up wielding a knife like some kind of psycho-killer; the laughter and joy never ended. 

            But then we grew up, and life took us down two different paths. You remained steadfast in your faith, and I fell to the way side, time and time again---eventually losing my way altogether. I ended up marrying the wrong man and finding myself in an unbearable position. Sometimes I wish I had run back home to you and your family; but this was something that I had to figure out on my own.  My decisions ultimately took me even further away---this time to Pakistan. For years I longed to pick up the phone and call you to say hi, but knew that I could not. I didn’t want to put you in in harm’s way at all. I thought maybe the FBI would start harassing you about any contact with me; so I watched you from a distance. I found a picture of you and Pops online, and saved it to my computer. I looked in your eyes and longed for that best friend that I had so many years before. I would listen to the song ironically titled, Remember Me, by the Cruse Family, over and over; it supplied me with that same feeling of surrounded love that I felt so many years earlier. Thank you for playing that song a thousand times in your bedroom; you had no idea that one day it would be the only string of home that I would have to cling on to.

            Honestly Carnation, I thought that we would never see each other again. Life had literally taken us to two different ends of the planet. That is until 2014 when I finally returned to the States. And what did I find when I returned? You, with loving arms wide open welcoming me home as if I had never left. And then you brought me pictures that you had saved for me. You kept me safe withing your guarded heart. Thank you so much my beloved Carnation. 

             I see us together now, and cannot help but notice the differences between us. Years of stress and three failed marriages has taken its toll on me; I am aged and have lost all of my teeth, but you are so young and outgoing--just what I used to be when we were teenagers--but now I am the quiet withdrawn one. It is funny how life changes people, and moves them around the world like a game of chess. 

             And now again today, you are only a phone call away for me. You deserve all of the blessings in the world. In the hereafter, God will bless you with riches beyond belief. Your heart is kind and loving and it shows in your dedication to God and the children's' ministry. The world doesn’t deserve such a caring soul; and for sure I do not deserve you either. Thank you again! Thank you one million times over again for always being there to hold my heart and say, I love you Marsha.

Your best friend forever and a day,

Marsha

(Excerpt from upcoming book, traded.)