Sunday, June 18, 2017

A Meditative Prayer



Hi All,

This weekend, I have started a new book called, It's Hard to Meditate When Your Butt Itches: My Journey to Find Inner Peace. This book will take my reader along with me on my journey of learning and practicing meditation.

I have only meditated a few times, and here is what has happened thus far. The idea for this book came to me, and I have written a special prayer that I wanted to share on today's blog.

Dear God,
                I realize that you have created a spiritual canvas. Help me to create the masterpiece that you meant for me to be. Help me to spread the colors of joy and love and forgiveness in such a way that the fresco of your grace shines thru my eyes. 
.......................................... Acrylic, Painting, Inspiration, Love

I cannot believe that so much love and inspiration has flowed thru me with only a few meditative moments. I am really looking forward to what lies ahead for me. 

Saturday, June 3, 2017

Online Abuse and Amnesty International


Hi All, 

Yep. Been super busy at work. Working up to 56 hours a week....wow...that is too much---but hey, it's a job and it pays the bills. It has even inspired me to start work on another book. Look for it coming soon.....I hope. hahaha

Anyway, today I did some writing that I felt was important enough to put on the blog. I wrote about online abuse. I shared my story with Amnesty International. You all know that I am a member of the Arizona Coalition to End Sexual and Domestic Violence right? Well this week they asked us for our story about online abuse, and how we handled it.

Here is some of what I said:

I was married to an Asian man. I lived in his country, while he lived here in the United States. Once he was deported and was forced to return his country; we divorced and he took custody of my 4-year-old son by force.
His abusive emails started while we were still married. He began sending me at least two vulgar emails a week, and then would call me afterwards to discuss and rationalize them. I felt trapped into accepting this behavior because he was my sole financial support at the time. Eventually, I started teaching English and making my own salary, which ultimately enabled me to leave him.
Once I did leave him, the emails continued, but because he had taken my young son from me by force, I had no choice but to screen the emails for details about my son (he would not allow me to speak to my son, and I had no means of fighting for his custody in the court---the emails were my only connection to my son and he knew it.)
At one point I had remarried, to another man, my new husband became to know of the ‘hate-emails’ confronted my ex-husband on the phone and asked him to stop; but the emails continued. The constant harassment and disgusting language of these emails had different effects on me. They were a constant reminder of my entrapment in my ex-husband’s psychological game. I felt degraded, helpless and cried many times.   
Even after yet another divorce, it took me an additional 3 years to finally have the courage to block his email address---knowing that this was my only connection with my growing son. I had to choose between updates on him and the constant vulgarity from the ‘hate-mail’. This now meant that I had lost my last connection with my son, at this point in time.
My ex-husband then began stalking me on Facebook. Once I discovered this was happening, I controlled more of what I was posting, and only posted very neutral items about the memoirs that I were writing (www.marshamarie.com). 
Just recently, I decided to unblock the email address and try sending an email asking about my son and if he could finally join me. It only took two emails and the abuse restarted. As suspected, he revealed details that he had become aware of from my Facebook postings about my book. 
Hacker, Cyber Crime, Internet, Security

Online abuse is a serious and very troubling thing for many men and women to face. It is easy for an abuse to hide in a dark corner and still be able to attack us right in the safety of our own home. I know that I am not alone. If  you are facing online abuse of any kind, you can find the help that you need. Here is an amazing rescource: techsafety.org .

If you have a story that you would like to share with Amnesty International, email me at marsha@marshamarie.com and I will send you the link for story submissions.

GET HELP NOW
If you are in immediate danger, please call 911. If you need to talk to someone about domestic violence, sexual assault, or trafficking abuse, call the following national hotlines.
National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.
National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-4673
National Human Trafficking Resource Center at 1-888-373-7888

Monday, May 8, 2017

Ten Ways I Get Thru My Day

Hurry, Stress, Time Management

Hi All,

Lately, I have had a difficult time just getting thru my days at work. Honestly, it seems as if each workday is somehow gaining an extra ten minutes tacked on; it just keeps getting longer and longer. You may be wondering: How do I survive? Like this.

I...........


  1. Ignore everyone around me. Sometimes I just fall into a trance; you know, pretend that I am not really there. Like I am off to the Bahamas or something. 
  2. Bully others. I wander around the office and butt into people's conversation, and just take over. The extra confidence actually seems to make the clock go faster. 
  3. Cry. Yes, I am not proud of it, but I sometimes I go to the toilet stall and cry like a girl. (As shocking as it is to some of my friends, I am still female.)
  4. Eat all day. I keep my bag full of munchies and just keep my mouth chomping. Somehow the movement of my mouth makes it seem like my job is too far away from me to care anything about it. 
  5. Sleep. Not proud of it, but I have fallen asleep on the commode lots of times. (Hasn't everyone?) 
  6. Pretend I am invisible. This is an obvious one; if I am invisible, no one can see me, and that means I am not really there. (Not to be mistaken for ignoring people around you.) 
  7. Leave early. Leaving early--by definition--means the day goes by faster. Woohoo! 
  8. Lie to myself. Yea, I told myself lots of times that I was happy, and this is what I wanted in life. (Wait, am I talking about my crappy job, or my marriage. I'm confused all of a sudden.
  9. Act like I am smarter than others around me. (Hey, I was a teacher for many years, so I am used to acting like that.) 
  10. Quit. ...........No... just kidding, I didn't. I'm still hanging in there. But if you come down to my office and don't see me at my desk......well, I am probably in the bathroom stall again. (As they say in Punjabi: Buss, gulzada (I'm just getting by with what I have), 
Computer Problem, Computer, Problem

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Prison Break Review, S-5, E-4 --WTF Paul !!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????? Who is Poseidon?

Image result for poseidon
Is this the Poseidon???? What could he possibly want with Michael?
(and plz, put some clothes on man; this is a family blog!)


WTF Paul !!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????? Who is Poseidon?


SPOILER ALERT: If you have not seen this episode yet, STOP READING HERE. ðŸ˜ˆ


Hi guys, just watched Prison Break, episode 5, and it was so f....ing intense. Micheal is finally out of prison and now they are accused of killing the evil radical guy. Thank god, him and Lincoln finally met up once Linc opened the door and let everyone out.(Technically Michael and his peeps climbed over the wall instead of going out the front door, so Michael's world record is still in tact.) And that young kid who actually killed the evil Jewel-of-the-Nile-swammy guy????...... I just love you!!!! You are so damn cute!!!

Well peeps, watching tonight's epi, I squeeled, I held my breath and pounded on the table more than once! I was cheering them on. Great job producer guys!! This episode f....ing rocks!!!!! Extremely suspenseful!

And if that wasn't enough, back home in the States, Paul Kellerman was killed by the Peter-Pan-looking lady and her lost-boy-side-kick. Luckily before Paul died, he told T-Bag about the person behind all of these issues with Michael---his name is Poseidon (wait, did I spell that right?...........yea I did.) So anyway, we don't know too much about him, other than he is some renegade CIA loser who is playing life by his own rules now. Once again,,,,,,more questions................................................


but, oh god, (not Poseidon), I am just loving it!!!!

Image result for poseidon
No Poseidon.....not much better at night either......put some clothes on!

Saturday, April 22, 2017

Roots

Roots, Wood, Holidays, Color, Autumn

Roots
by Marsha Marie

strings of passion
reached for love
the echoes cried
of what is not

dry and decayed
i cease 
no more
my throat is sliced
red rivers are dry

did no one hear me scream
death a welcome end
listen 
you hear nothing
but never-ending emptiness

burn me alive
of use am i
the winds of forgiveness tried 
but blankets are heavy and dusty
i want to dissipate

nothing to live for
but only memories of lost youth




Friday, April 21, 2017

It's Called Democracy!


Usa Flag, Flag, Usa, American, United

This morning while driving to work I happened upon a nice looking mini-van. It was a lovely color, no scratches, nice tires and very clean. I do not know where they were going, but I can only assume that due to the location and timing that this person must have been going to work. And maybe they have a well-kept house to go along with that lovely mini-van. Wow. It looked like they were truly living the American dream.

The only thing that disturbed me was the bumper sticker that they had so proudly displayed above the back window. It read: NOT MY PRESIDENT! 

(Seemed a bit hypocritical to me.) Really?! I thought to myself. Then I blurted out, "Grow the fuck up! He is your president, and he's mine, so deal with it."

I mean seriously, let's think about it for a second. Don't you think that every president ever elected had some non-supporters? Umm, yea,,,,I'm sure every single one of them did.

You see, I do not just see the NOT MY PRESIDENT message as just being a passive non-supporter of the currently government in place; I see it as  a slap across the face of our country's democratic system. And it doesn't even matter what party I belong to; I would feel this way on any side; and so should all of us. Yea, I get it that people are passionate about their party, and their candidate. So are high school students when they are electing the president of the Student Council each year; and then they learn that not everyone is a winner; someone has to lose. That is--by definition--what a race is.

It's so simple people, we vote, we count the votes, the one with the most electoral votes wins, then the new administration peacefully moves into office. If your not happy with the results, work harder next election. Seems elementary right? But why hasn't that happened this year? What is happening with folks' sense of patriotism. "I'm moving to Canada!" they screamed during the election. ..........so what....move already, who cares???? But those of us that are staying should support our democracy. (Hey, I have lived in countries where people were threatened and even shot while standing in lines to vote. Do we really want that to happen to our country? God forbid.)

Come on people, Trump took office Jan 20, and yet three months later I still hear whining and crying about it. Let's teach our kids what real democracy is. Show them to speak up when necessary, yes, but also show them to respect the process.

We tell our kids all the time that they need to grow up,,,,hey guys,,,you do too.

Old, Transcript, Constitution, Vintage
Look familiar???????

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Prison Break Review, S-5, E-3



SPOILER ALERT: If you have not seen this episode yet, STOP READING HERE. ðŸ˜ˆ

Yes, it was that time again. Another Prison Break episode and man this one was off the chain. Right from the start I was entranced with the review bits of the first two shows; seriously, there is nothing more sexy than Wentworth Miller speaking Arabic. (I don't know if that was really him or just a voice-actor, but it was hot!) Then they jump into this week's show with him writing Arabic on a paper airplane..(My god, is there anything that this man cannot do?)  Micheal then sends the airplane out to a little boy playing outside the window, and I was shocked to see him pull a piece of gum out of it. (Seriously? They have Circle K's in Yemen with double-mint gum just waiting for prisoners to buy? I find that a bit hard to believe. but okay, we will go with it for now.)

Some of the scenes in this week's show was a bit difficult to watch. Number one, they were trying to hang the homosexuals in the prison. And also the woman who has been helping Burrows, Sheba, gets captured, beaten and nearly raped. Just a bit too much all around for me personally, but sadly we know that these things do happen in the war-torn countries. (My heart is deeply saddened by the thought.)  

Then one of the kids that Micheal is trying to break out of jail with him apparently has been his partner on other break outs around the world for the CIA. (What? CIA? Seriously? and there have been more? How many? Why?) This whole scene brings up way more questions than it answered, for sure. But the kid asks Micheal if maybe he hasn't actually taken-on this latest identity, Kaniel Outis (Which we all know is code for: Can Micheal get out of this?) This whole scene leaves us wondering if Micheal actually may have snapped.  

Well, the electricity finally goes out in the prison, signally the escape to begin. I was totally spooked with the miniature riot and the gun fire. (Had my electric gone out at home while watching this, I might have had a heart attack----really it was that intense.) But the escape failed. They had to surrender on the roof and now the big radical dude that Micheal was supposed to have taken with him has threatened to kill him. I guess Micheal believes him, because he takes out a cell phone and begins taping to Sara. 

"Sara, I love you. This is all for you. You will understand one day. ....bla bla bla....cry cry cry....When they bury me, make sure to put my real name on the headstone, Micheal Scolfield."  and then the phone goes dead. and yet again, we have more questions instead of answers. ..................suspense much guys?

And back in the States: what is Sara doing all of this time. Same thing she always does. run for her life and fights with T-bag. okay. somethings never change. But man, if you are not watching this show,,,,you are so missing out!

Any hoooo..................Keep'em comin guys,,,,,,,keep'em comin!!!




Sunday, April 16, 2017

Unfortunately, Not Me!

Unfortunately, not me!


Hi All,

I've made a decision that I thought I would share with everyone today---I've decided to discontinue my vlog series on YouTube (MeMarshaMarie). I have left a few of my videos public, but unlisted the rest of them for now.

Actually, there are several reasons for stopping it (I know you must be dying to know...😏hahah).

  1. Some of us are just not as photogenic as Marilyn Monroe (um yeah, including me..... I can admit it). 
  2. I am a terrible actress (always have been; but at least I gave it shot). 
  3. I really suck at editing. 
  4. It takes up so much time with the planning, filming and editing of videos---I just have to choose my battles, you know. 
Will I ever do it in the future? Who knows; but for now, I want to just hang out with my blogging friends and do the world thru my laptop. I also want to focus more on my writing, teaching, setting up my Izz Wow Radio Station, and trying to get the Bangles movie done. 

It was fun while it lasted. Thanks so much for listening, understanding me and not judging. You guys are awesome!!!!! 


Still not me!



Yeah, this is me, Marsha Marie.






Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Prison Break Review, S-5, E-2



SPOILER ALERT: If you have not seen this episode yet, STOP READING HERE. ðŸ˜ˆ


Wow Wow Wow!!!! I just watched episode two, and I am hooked all over again. Any disappointing bits from episode one just dissolved away. Glued to my seat I watched as the old Micheal came out into the show in so many ways. Sprinkles of his clandestine messages simply made me trimmer with excitement.

First of all Paul Kellerman made his entrance again to the show by saying that Micheal is a murderer and supposedly they have it on tape,  and then tried to convince Sara that her husband most likely plotted this whole thing out. What???? Why would he do that? How could he just leave Sara and the baby? Then Sara's new husband gives this whole schpiel on how some twisted people use other people, because basically they are hooked into drama, like one would get addicted to heroin, and that in the past Micheal was just jumping from one self-made drama to the next just to feed his sick appetite. Oh no you didn't just talk smack about Micheal, did you?!?

While back in Yemen, Burrows receives Micheal's signature origami swan with a message that he needs the sheikh of light to be found so he can escape from the prison. Yeah!!!! another escapes!  You go Micheal! Well, Burrows goes and finds the sheikh of light, but to bring him back, he has to save the guy's daughter and some other girls that were I hiding from the radical group. He manages to get the girls out, but in doing so I nearly had a heart attack just watching it; it was really an intense scene. (And just the thought of what others must be suffering in these types of situations is very disturbing.)

Then during all of this time, we are sprinkled with scenes of Micheal actually trying to escape, failing again, and then scheming to try yet again.

So now, where are we on the story line? Well, Micheal is trying to escape, he's besties with some radical leader that is in prison with him, and we still do not know if he is under a spell, brainwashed or just fucking with everyone. Burrows is trying to help him escape by getting the power shut off to the prison. Sara just might start doing drugs again under all of this pressure......not!!! Just kidding. But it does seem like she is struggling with this whole husband-coming-back-from-the-dead-and-trying-to-break-out-of-prison-all-over-again-thing. Then at the very end of the show, baby Michael is found with an origami rose with a message to go hide and that trouble is coming. Oh god again? Poor Sara. (And let me say this, I think the most touching scene of the show was when Sara saw the video of Micheal in the jail. The actress' performance was so believable. Awesome, awesome job!)

Bottom line? Loving this show......again!!!!  Thank you for one more season of gold!!


Prison Break Review, S-5, E-1



Finally! The season that I have been waiting for---Prison Break, Season 5! I was so thrilled that I just had to blog about it tonight. SPOILER ALERT: If you have not seen this episode yet, STOP READING HERE. 

Okay, now that I have warned you. First let me start by saying this: I love the cast, and none of my comments are towards them at all, matter of fact, I am really happy to see them bring it back for one final season, and to see Wentworth Miller and Domonic Purcell both as producers---awesome and congrats guys.  

Secondly, I should explain how big of a Prison Break fan I am. I started watching it when it first came out many years ago. I instantly fell in love with the Micheal Scolfield character, and the romantic story line of him and Dr. Sara Tancredi. I have made it a ritual that every year, I binge-watch the entire four seasons from beginning to end. (My kids cringe that time of year. They say, "really mom, Prison Break again?" ) Well, it's true that season 4 is difficult to stomach at times; I usually end up spring cleaning the house while it's on so that I do not have to pay full attention to it, (that is, up to the last four episodes anyway). 

So as I was saying, everyone that knows me well, knows that I love this show. No sex scenes, no nudity and just enough violence to make it interesting. One of my students in UAE, even gifted me the entire show on CD (which I still have by the way).  And let me tell you, that I still cry on the final episode when Michael dies.....still man after all of these years and the hundred times I have seen the show. (and now to those of you out there that are thinking that I should get a life....don't worry...I do..😇.haha).



Now about episode one. I was absolutely glued to my seat. I couldn't wait to see what was going to happen. I was utterly shocked when they opened the show with that sick bastard T-bag. God, couldn't we kill his character off by now? T-bag was insufferable during season 4, and now to start the new season with him again is mind numbing?

<long sigh>

The next scene was even worse, when they showed Lincoln being the same loser that his brother tried to so hard to get him out of in the first place. Really? Running from people you owe money to? Again? What the fuck Burrows---grow up for god's sake. What happened to your girlfriend and the scuba diving thing you had going on? Enormous disappointment there. 

Then we get to see Sara. It was nice to see that she had remarried, which sounded believable to me; but I am still a bit confused how she got back into the States and living a free life; what happened to the murder charges she was in jail for when Micheal helped her escape? (Hello? What about me???? I couldn't do that.) And then the show goes back to T-bag again; so lets just say, the first 25 minutes were not like the previous FOX quality, but I stayed glued because I was waiting for our beloved Micheal to enter the picture. 

Apparently Micheal is being held in Yemen prison. A picture of him is sent to fucking T-bag--of all people--and someone is offering to replace T-bags hand with some robotic experimental upgrade (again more story line with T-bag in it. Gross! ..........but still watching for Michael). 

After Burrows digs up Michael's grave and finds it empty, he decides to go down to Yemen to find his brother. Burrows is set up and almost killed only minutes after his plane lands (I thought that was funny--if anything.) Then like an total bloody idiot he gives his passport away, just so he can get into the prison to see his brother. (okay, I cannot even comment on how stupid that was). 

Then finally, we see Michael walking towards his brother, and with a blank look says, "I don't know who this Micheal is." (Oh crap,,,, what happened to Micheal??? I was not expecting that.) Micheal also has these strange Illuminati tattoos on the palms of his hands and seems to be cut off emotionally. (Brainwashing maybe???)

<sobbing noises>

Micheal,,,,,what happened to you?????? Wake up! We need the plan to get you out of that god-forsaken prison!!!!!!! 

I cannot wait for the next episode!!! 

Pssst: I hope robo-T-bag gets stuck to some big ass magnet somewhere, but something tells me we are in for more of him for sure. 




Sunday, April 9, 2017

Any Regrets Marsha?


Today I would like to share a question that was sent into me by a lady who has read my book, BANGLES. Her name is Lydia, from the UK. Her question is: Do you regret not living in America all of those years. 

Well, the answer is yes, and no. It's very true that in those 22 years that I was not here, I missed out on a lot of history making moments both nationally and locally--some good and some bad. I also missed out on valuable time with my own mother, including her final moments---truly my greatest regret of all.

But what I don't regret is keeping my children safe from the domestic violent situation that they were born into. Instead, they grew up experiencing various world cultures and learning several languages. And I'm proud to say that they have turned out to be amazing children. They told me that they forgive me for leaving America the way that I did, and--after meeting their father themselves--they understand why I did; and I now forgive myself as well. One day I was feeling sorry for myself--I felt that I had made a mistake with my life, and that I had nothing to show for the last 22 years. My daughter sat next to me on the bed patiently listening to me cry. She then reached over, hugged me, and said, "Never be sorry for what you did for us. You are who you are today because of what you did. Never forget that."


A Meditative Prayer

Hi All, This weekend, I have started a new book called, It's Hard to Meditate Whe...