Online Abuse and Amnesty International

Hi All, 

Yep. Been super busy at work. Working up to 56 hours a week....wow...that is too much---but hey, it's a job and it pays the bills. It has even inspired me to start work on another book. Look for it coming soon.....I hope. hahaha

Anyway, today I did some writing that I felt was important enough to put on the blog. I wrote about online abuse. I shared my story with Amnesty International. You all know that I am a member of the Arizona Coalition to End Sexual and Domestic Violence right? Well this week they asked us for our story about online abuse, and how we handled it.

Here is some of what I said:

I was married to an Asian man. I lived in his country, while he lived here in the United States. Once he was deported and was forced to return his country; we divorced and he took custody of my 4-year-old son by force.

His abusive emails started while we were still married. He began sending me at least two vulgar emails a week, and then would call me afterwards to discuss and rationalize them. I felt trapped into accepting this behavior because he was my sole financial support at the time. Eventually, I started teaching English and making my own salary, which ultimately enabled me to leave him.

Once I did leave him, the emails continued, but because he had taken my young son from me by force, I had no choice but to screen the emails for details about my son (he would not allow me to speak to my son, and I had no means of fighting for his custody in the court---the emails were my only connection to my son and he knew it.)

At one point I had remarried, to another man, my new husband became to know of the ‘hate-emails’ confronted my ex-husband on the phone and asked him to stop; but the emails continued. The constant harassment and disgusting language of these emails had different effects on me. They were a constant reminder of my entrapment in my ex-husband’s psychological game. I felt degraded, helpless and cried many times.   

Even after yet another divorce, it took me an additional 3 years to finally have the courage to block his email address---knowing that this was my only connection with my growing son. I had to choose between updates on him and the constant vulgarity from the ‘hate-mail’. This now meant that I had lost my last connection with my son, at this point in time.

My ex-husband then began stalking me on Facebook. Once I discovered this was happening, I controlled more of what I was posting, and only posted very neutral items about the memoirs that I were writing (www.marshamarie.com). 

Just recently, I decided to unblock the email address and try sending an email asking about my son and if he could finally join me. It only took two emails and the abuse restarted. As suspected, he revealed details that he had become aware of from my Facebook postings about my book. 

Online abuse is a serious and very troubling thing for many men and women to face. It is easy for an abuse to hide in a dark corner and still be able to attack us right in the safety of our own home. I know that I am not alone. If  you are facing online abuse of any kind, you can find the help that you need. Here is an amazing rescource: techsafety.org .

If you have a story that you would like to share with Amnesty International, email me at marsha@marshamarie.com and I will send you the link for story submissions.

GET HELP NOW
If you are in immediate danger, please call 911. If you need to talk to someone about domestic violence, sexual assault, or trafficking abuse, call the following national hotlines.
National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.
National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-4673
National Human Trafficking Resource Center at 1-888-373-7888